Fake smile :) *:(

in 27 days .. 
it's all end , it's kind of really fast relationship
but i'm not really mind it .. 
however it was a amazing memory that i can remember
once , i just think that cry can bring a laugh in the future when u remember it
but i still can cry when i remember such a sweet memory that i ever feel .. 
and all of that sweet memory . such in the end now ..
my friends told me .. "there's still a chance , u just need to wait"
"there's still love in it" etc 
once . i believe it .. it just make me really happy when i knew it ..
but more i think about it ..
it just like something that unreal ..
something that just in my dream and won't be real
many things that i ever thought after that ..
something that connected with my past too ..
a really dark past .
laugh ? smile ? cheer ? joyful ?
i done all of it
but it all fake . i can act like there's nothing i need to sad of
there's no need to cry
it makes me feel like i'm a pro actress
but there's a limit on it . when i can't hide it again
when i can't bring ma laugh and give u fake smile anymore
it's really hard time when u just can give a fake smile which that's not from my heart
i always try to not crying .. to not be sad ..
but 3 days ago .. i just can't hide it anymore ..
i feel i'm really need to cry ..
which i was tired to hide all of by myself ..
what i think now is , maybe i need time to heal this feel .. 
and don't ever think that he would come back again
cause it just make me happy for a sec . and fell down again
stop hoping is the best way for me ..